The Story in Your Head Is Costing You the Sale
Most sales aren’t lost because the product is inferior, or because the prospect doesn’t want to buy. Most sales are lost because the salesperson walks into the room with the wrong story running in their head.
They’re telling themselves things like: I don’t know if I can do this anymore. They’re just trying to use me for free consulting. I really need this sale, and if I don’t get it… I’ve got to get this to make quota. They’re so much smarter and more successful than I am — why would they need my help? What can I do to convince them to buy from me? I know this is going to be a waste of my time. How will I blow it this time? I’ve done this a thousand times — why do I still have to prove myself?
Facts tell, and stories sell — and that’s just as true when you’re selling yourself on the opportunity in front of you.
When a prospect meets someone carrying the wrong story, they can feel it. Their Spidey senses put them on high alert. It doesn’t matter how good the product is. Every dollar the company spent on product design, training, and marketing gets wasted in that moment.
What stories are you telling yourself about sales?
And Then There’s Gary
Let me tell you about one of the best salesmen I know. Year after year, Gary outsells everyone at his company by three to one — same products, same training as everyone else. He didn’t think he had any secrets. I did, so I got his entire sales team together and asked them one question: what’s the most important thing you do every day?
Eight of the nine gave me the logical answer you’d expect — make the plan, work the plan, learn the prospect’s needs, satisfy their needs. Solid, textbook stuff. Blocking and tackling. And it works, to a point. I’d consider most of the people in that room successful at sales — but they don’t have Gary’s success.
Gary answered last, and differently, and it blew me away. I’ve been talking about it ever since.
“I make people feel good about themselves.”
Think about the last person who made you feel genuinely good about yourself. I’m sure you’re like me and will do almost anything for that person, because they’re so rare. The way I think about it, Gary allows the buyer to be the hero in the sales process.
How much of your prep, right now, goes into making the person across the table feel that way? For most salespeople: none. It isn’t part of the story they’re carrying.
I asked Gary what his secret was for making people feel good, and he answered:
You find the good in them.
Gary is a master of taking a prospect’s emotional energy from where they have it to where they need it. That’s how he gets them past their inherent fear in the sales process.
When I started my company and began my sales training, I was reminded that pain pills sell for more than vitamins. I asked Gary about that, and he said, “Why would I want to put anybody into pain? Isn’t there enough of that already?” I didn’t disagree — it’s just what had been drummed into me.
I asked Gary how he prepares for a meeting. Everyone else gave the obvious answers — LinkedIn, Google, find out who the current vendor is. Gary’s answer, again, was different.
“I focus on liking them before I even meet them.”
That’s the story Gary walks in with. I’ve stolen it. Before I speak or advise, I focus on liking the people in the room before I ever meet them. That day was a blessing to me — it changed the way I sell.
A Final Thought
I’ve noticed something after decades of working with successful sales executives: once the financial “need” for the sale disappears, their sales often get better. The fear disappears. The story changes. Their emotional energy changes. They show up present, mindful, in service — instead of hungry and needy.
What if that were the story from the start?
You get to choose which stories you carry into your next sale, and which ones need to be replaced. That’s the work I call The Emotional Edge — helping salespeople find, and tell, the right story before they ever walk into the room.
