How to Bring Meaning to Your Work

I’d like to share two quick stories.

Years ago I was training the Palm Beach County Clerks Office executive team. The new Clerk, Sharon Bock, was intent on creating a world-class organization. One of my more interesting assignments from her was to attend a Six Sigma day as an observer. The 300 person management and leadership team would be facilitated by Six Sigma trainers to further define their vision, mission, values, and goals. Afterward, Sharon asked me what I observed. I told her the attendees were having their own little happy party talking about the difference they would make out there…without including a single customer of the County Clerk involved in the conversation.

I explained it’s hard to be purposeful or self-actualized where you don’t invite your customer, client or user into the conversation. How else can you truly understand their experience?

I had another client in my Florida days that was a formal wear manufacturer. Their retail spaces were amazing. Beautiful models wore the clothes in 12-foot posters all around the showrooms. However, when you got to the manufacturing floor, those pictures were gone. The purpose of those seamstresses was to sew that tuxedo or wedding dress. That was it. No real “meaning” in the work other than that.

I convinced the owner his employees should be treated no differently than their customers and that the same pictures should also be hung throughout the manufacturing floor. Even better, I suggested they provide a discount to some couples if they came by the manufacturing floor and showed the workers how special the garments they sewed made them feel.

Now, do you think those seamstresses would be more engaged and more purposeful after a direct experience with the customer like that? Produce greater “discretionary effort”? Of course, they would!

Eventually, they also added real photos and testimonials from client weddings on the manufacturing walls too.

Finding meaning in your work is about serving. More precisely, it is about the service experience between an employee and their customer. Make sure your employees get to directly interact with the people they serve and then let them discover how their work makes a difference in their customers lives.

If Your Boss Was a Cooked Egg…

While at my sister’s house last week,  I found myself watching Family Feud. The question that was asked is: “If your boss was a cooked egg, how would you describe him or her.”

Here are the responses. Who wants to guess at what the last answer was?

Strategies for Developing a Career Path that Works

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.” – Steve Jobs

“The things to do are the things that need doing, that you see need to be done, and that no one else seems to be doing.” – Buckminster Fuller

Maybe your job is not what you thought it would be, or you want to ratchet up, or you are burnt out, or something else seems more interesting…or you just got fired.

Consider these strategies to find a job you can love, even if it’s the one you are in:

  1. Nothing is wrong with you if you have not yet discovered your “passion” or “mission.” It can be as simple as “helping myself while I help others.” You can do that in any job.
  2. Nothing is wrong with changing jobs if:
    • There is no opportunity for creativity or growth.
    • You can’t earn more where you are at.
    • You want to work closer to home.
    • You dislike your co-workers, boss, or customers.
    • There is illegal or unethical activity going on.
    • This isn’t the third time you quit in the last two years.  If that’s the case, maybe you are the problem.
  3. Nothing is wrong with changing careers if:
    • The “story” of your career does not match up with the “reality” of your career.
    • You have grown far in that career and look to learn something new.
    • There is the possibility of working in a career that allows you to earn more or work in alignment with your passion, mission, etc.
    • You are financially set and want to do non-profit type work.
  4. Get out of the “grey zone” of uncertainty. Give yourself space and time to define your ideal career situation. Think both vertically and horizontally. For example, I’d like to be a lawyer for an environmental non-profit or I’d to be a games programmer at Electronic Arts.
  5. Interview people with your ideal career. Invite them to a coffee or lunch, or even offer to pay for their time.  Ask what they want and don’t like about their job.  Discover their story of how they came to be in this position.  Ask what they think the future holds for their career.  Last, ask what advice they would have for you.  I wish I had been smart enough to do this when I was younger.  Keep asking until somebody says yes.  It is worth the effort.
  6. Meet with a recruiter. Again, offer to pay for their time.  Ask for an evaluation of your resume, and what they believe your opportunities are and possible compensation levels.  Steps 4, 5, and 6 are all about gaining clarity.  Get facts before you make a career decision.
    • P.S.  See if they can run your resume through a resume screener to make sure you are using the right buzzwords. An example you can use yourself is https://www.jobscan.co/
  7. Don’t fear seeking part-time, temp or consulting work. Get your foot in the door and show them how amazing you are.  Do that, and they will want you as an employee.
  8. Don’t quit your day job until you have agreed to a new job. Then leave your company gracefully.  Provide them with two week’s notice.  Don’t bomb them on Glassdoor.  Don’t do a YouTube dance video. There is no good reason to create enemies.  Just move on.
  9. Get creative! Showing your resume online is not enough anymore.
    • Use your LinkedIn and Facebook contacts.
    • Use your alumni and school contacts.
    • Show up at industry association meetings.
    • See if your industry association has a hiring page, many do.
    • Knock on their door. This approach works best with smaller companies as you might get to meet the owner or president.
    • Network, but when you do, spend your time learning about them. See how you can help them.  That’s what gets people’s attention, not being needy.  Besides, needy is creepy.
    • Don’t forget the Yellow Pages.
  10. Know the companies that fit your career path. Many cities have a business publication that identifies the companies in your area. Then systematically figure out how you will approach them. Make your job! Send the owner an article you wrote or a blog post.  Mail it to them.  Offer to have a meeting to see how you can help them.  I have often got work by doing this.  “I’d like to meet with you for an hour to check your head and share what I know about ____.”
  11. Know yourself. Look for a career that fits you. Know your skills and motivators.  Take a few career assessments.  Take a few skill tests (see shl.com).  The better you know you, the more focus and confidence you will have.  One simple way to focus is to identify the five things you do best and circle the two things you enjoy doing best.  Find a job or career that focuses on those two things and you will find work nirvana.
  12. If you are out of a job, then make finding a job your whole priority. Make it a 5-day week, 40 hour-week job. Be relentless. Go all in!
  13. Keep learning. Lynda.com is a great resource for learning and free if you have LinkedIn premium (which you want if you are job hunting). Research companies, trends, challenges, etc.
  14. Create a week in the life for yourself. Three years from now, when you are doing work you love. What does a work week look like?  Spend a few hours noting this future with clarity and then bring that future into the present.  I have learned that you get what you ask for – just not when or how you would expect to get it.
  15. Be prepared. As the saying goes, success results from preparation meeting opportunity. Being prepared for an interview means researching the company website, news articles, LinkedIn profiles, Glassdoor reviews and more. Practice your interviewing skills with friends.  Interviewing is a sales job so know the questions you can be asked and how you would answer them.  Short and sweet answers are best. Also, be prepared with questions you may want to ask. Don’t ask questions you can find by researching Manta, Hoovers…or the company website. Consider questions such as:
    • Why is the position open? Did someone quit or get fired? Is it a new position?
    • How would you describe the company’s culture?
    • Where do you get your greatest satisfaction in working here?
    • What frustrates you working here?
    • What are the common attributes of your top performers?
    • What drives results for the company?
    • How does your performance appraisal system work?
    • What would you expect me to accomplish in the first 60 to 90 days?
    • In one year from today, how would you know if my hire was a success?
    • What training programs do you offer employees?
    • Do you publish career ladders for the position?
    • What percentage of managers are promoted versus recruited?
    • What is the most exciting thing happening at the company?
    • How often does the CEO meet with the management team?
    • What type of company social events do you have?
  16. Follow up, even if they don’t. Send a written thank you note and ask for the job.
  17. Last, don’t stress about the future even if you are in a financial squeeze. Cut expenses to the bone and focus on taking action in the present, the only real power you have.

Download the Career Strategies PDF

Resources:

https://www.livecareer.com/ -resume builder, job search, more.

http://jobboardreviews.com job board directory

http://www.jobhuntersbible.com  from Dick Bolles, author of What Color is My Parachute

https://www.shl.com/en/  a great place to test your skills

https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/- great advice on job hunting

https://www.careercloud.com– job hunting advice

https://www.job-hunt.org/– job hunting advice

https://www.forbes.com/video/4573540723001 video from Forbes on avoiding the resume black hole.

https://blog.linkedin.com/2016/10/06/now-you-can-privately-signal-to-recruiters-youre-open-to-new-job– as the URL suggests, how to use LinkedIn

https://www.donphin.com/tools/– last but not least, some tools I’ve created that can help

 

Investigation and Lie Detection

“The liar was the hottest to defend his veracity, the coward his courage, the ill-bred his gentlemanliness, and the cad his honor.” 
― Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

There is a great deal of literature available to help determine whether someone you are speaking with, perhaps during an investigation, or during a game of poker, is lying to you. What follows are some of the “tells” the trained eye will look for:

  • Eye contact avoidance.
  • Liars use less hands and arms. Often on their lap, folded, closed body posture.
  • Palms down on the table or clenched.
  • Arms and legs crossed.
  • Touching face, playing with hair.
  • Partial shrug.
  • Inconsistent words, gestures, and emotions.
  • What was the initial reaction?
  • Timing of gestures.
  • The surprise wears off quickly.
  • The tight smile; the small smile.
  • Head moves mechanically.
  • The guilty usually go on the defensive; the honest on the offensive.
  • The head shifts.
  • Slumped posture.
  • Liars generally won’t touch you or point fingers.
  • Liars feel the need to give a lot of details.
  • Liars often repeat the question to gain time.
  • Liars use your words.
  • The Freudian slip.
  • Discomfort with silence.
  • The guilty usually engage in body “awayness.” They will put up barriers.
  • Guilty people try too hard to convince. “I would never…”, “I wouldn’t lie,” “To tell you the truth…”
  • “I need time to think.”
  • They look to be relieved that the questioning is over.
  • Look for the out of left field response
  • They make an effort to change the subject.
  • The guilty will engage in moral superiority.
  • They will answer the question with a statement first.

When you are hot on the liar’s trail, you can say things like:

  • Let them know the advantages of coming clean.
  • On a scale of 1-10 where might you fit in …
  • What else could you have done?
  • Talk about it as if it is already an established fact.
  • Stare at them and be silent. Give them a reason to tell the truth.
  • Ask them if “this is the whole story?”
  • I know this happened… what I want to know is what your intentions were?
  • Was this an innocent mistake or a calculated effort?
  • Expand their statement.
  • I know there are two sides to every story…

Liars feast off of amateurs, which is one reason I don’t play poker, and a good reason for you to hire a pro when dealing with workplace investigations!

 

Behavioral Interviewing

The goal of a behavioral interview is very simple: to see how somebody might behave under varying circumstances. The following is a partial list of circumstances that can show up. Add questions unique to your environment too. You can discuss the who, what, where, why and how of behaviors around:

  1. Not being clear about job tasks.
  2. Having difficulty with a co-worker.
  3. Having difficulty with a boss.
  4. Feeling your talents aren’t being properly utilized.
  5. Managing a challenging project either due to lack of resources, time or other pressures.
  6. Having made an error or dealing with somebody you manage who’s made an error.
  7. Setting goals and making sure you execute on them.
  8. Making an unpopular decision.
  9. Examples of how you motivate or engage people you manage or co-workers.
  10. What are some innovative or creative solutions that you’ve helped to generate to solve a problem?

And the catch-all question, “We’ve done a fair amount of behavioral interviewing, today and I’ve learned a lot you as a result. What other behaviors, both positive and negative, have we yet to discuss?

My Three Favorite Behavioral Questions

I consider all the above to be a dance around the middle. There aren’t enough interviewers who ask questions at the extreme. Such as:

  1. Tell me something that felt unfair to you in your last job? This is my favorite interview question of all, to understand somebody’s behaviors. Our personal culture is largely defined by how we deal with what feels unfair to us. So dig into it. If they tell you nothing felt unfair about their last job, then guess what… they are lying… and I won’t hire a liar. However, when they do tell you something felt unfair, now you get to ask additional questions. For example, why did it feel unfair? What did you do about it? I would go through their entire resume and ask that question about all their recent jobs.
  2. Now we go to the other extreme. What are you most excited about (in your previous job and other jobs)? Once again, why, why, why? Ask yourself if there’s a position at your company where the applicant can do the work they are most excited about. That’s where they tend to be most productive.
  3. The third question I like to ask relates to how well they know themselves. The question is this: “What are three things you think the people you have worked with would like to see you change about yourself?” If they say nothing, then they have the fantasy they are perfect, and I’m not hiring them. Most people would know the answer to that question, including you. When they eventually tell me what those three things are, I’ll find out from them what effort they’ve made to address those concerns.

You can understand how powerful these questions are by applying them to yourself. What feels unfair to you? What are you most excited about? What would people like to see you change about yourself? They are a great source of inquiry and awareness.

What are your favorite behavioral interviewing questions?

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT!

“In spinning a robe of your own righteousness, before the sun goes down you will find it all unraveled.” – Curtis Hutson

You know you are right….and yet they ignore you, ridicule you, argue nonsense to you or even try to sabotage you.

Of course, they can’t be “right” too.

John was one of the top engineers on the project.  After doing a bunch of independent research, he came to the conclusion the team was going in the wrong direction.  He had been hinting at his concerns, but it seemed everyone was too overwhelmed with their tasks to listen.

Every Wednesday at 8 AM, the team had an all-hands meeting.  John would be prepared.  He would show them why the current approach was doomed for failure.  It was all he could think about, all night long. He was fitful and had a terrible night’s sleep.

The next morning, John was exhausted but ready to go.  He steeled himself when it came his time to report.  He let it all out.  He was nervous, and his energy was strong. He told the team if they didn’t listen to his concerns, they would regret it later.

John did not get the response he hoped for.  At first, there was dead silence.  Then the questions, disagreements and attacks began.  Many on the team felt as if they were under attack from John, and sought not to listen or understand John, but to defend themselves.

It was a disaster.  The team lead ended the meeting and told John he’d like to meet with him that afternoon.

After the meeting, John was anxious and confused. He couldn’t understand why they didn’t jump on board with his recommendations. Thoughts kept repeating in his head about how he was right.  They must be blind, fools or even worse, reckless.

So where did being “right” get John?

Where does the push to be “right” ever get any of us? On any stage?

As the saying goes, “Are you always the smartest person in the room?”

I know my energy can rise when there is even a potential for conflict… and I know I’m right.

When we are “right” and don’t instantly get our way, it feels unfair.  When something feels unfair, the drama begins.  We can go from feeling like a victim one minute and acting like a villain in the next.

So, what approach do you take when you know you are right, and resistance is sure to follow?  What insights should John’s team leader share with him in their meeting? Let me share a few insights I’ve learned from trial work, sales, and the study of emotions.

  1. Begin by asking yourself the questions that are sure to come your way.  What are the possible objections to your argument?  What fears or concerns of others will you have to overcome? A good salesperson considers possible objections that may be confronted in a sales meeting and practices responses to them.  Even better, take away their potential victimology by addressing their fears and concerns… before they do.
  2. Have a confidant give you honest feedback.  Invite them to cross-examine you. When I was a trial lawyer, we would sometimes pay for a “mock jury” to test out our arguments.  Maybe a mentor,  coach, or old professor can be a good sounding board for you.  Having that sounding board is one reason every executive should have a coach!
  3. Hone your presentation.  Practice, practice, practice. Never wing it.  If it is important, it is important enough to do it with excellence.  Tell a great story, beginning to end.  Identify how everyone benefits from your approach.
  4. R-e-l-a-x.  Go into the meeting, presentation, etc. like the Dalai Lama would, focusing on liking the people you will be with, before you are even with them.  They are dealing with as much, and sometimes more, than you are.  So chill out and be a good human, no matter how excited you are about being right.
  5. I try to keep in mind the quote from David Bohm that “the truth doesn’t emerge from an opinion; it emerges from a dialogue.”  So, don’t be a know it all. Invite feedback.  Engage in a dialogue. Ask what they agree with or not, and why.  Try to learn something from them. That’s good sales.  Then identify what you agree about and narrow down the disagreements. Listen. Without interruption.   Step into their shoes.  Feel where they are coming from.  Even if you face disagreement, you can do so as good people.  Reasonable people can agree to disagree.
  6. Consider how you can mitigate their concerns.  Perhaps adjust your approach.   Be creative. Be flexible, like Gumby.  He…or she… with the most options wins.
  7. If you hit a stalemate, consider a third party to facilitate finding a middle ground.  A mediation if you will. Or call a timeout and agree to reconvene after everyone has had time to sort things out.
  8. If after all of that you still find yourself stuck in what you believe is a disaster waiting to happen, then either let go or get out.  Fighting reality is a game for the insane…or soon to be insane.  You don’t want to “lose it” because you are right. When that happens, everyone loses.

I think most people would say they are more “right” about things than other people.  Odds are, across your life, you are probably little better than 50/50 at being “right.”

Now that’s reality!

Supreme Court Reigns in Dodd-Frank Whistleblower Standard

In the case of DIGITAL REALTY TRUST, INC. v. SOMERS the US Supreme Court put the breaks on the broad whistleblower standard used by the 9th Circuit. Bottom line is the Court said to be protected under the 2010 Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act (Dodd-Frank), internal complaints are not enough, you must have reported to the SEC. The unanimous Court denied the Solicitor General’s contention that Dodd-Frank’s “whistleblower” definition applies only to the statute’s award program and not to its anti-retaliation provision.

Unlike Dodd-Frank, the Court said under the Sarbanes-Oxley Act of 2002 “An employee qualifies for protection when he or she provides information or assistance either to a federal regulatory or law enforcement agency, Congress, or any “person with supervisory authority over the employee.”

Whistleblower advocates argued that forcing SEC disclosure as a pre-requisite, was not how most whistleblower anti-retaliation statutes are written. They claim this narrow interpretation of the statue would limit protections for attorneys, accountants, executives, and workers, who are retaliated against for reporting internally. The Court had an interesting side debate over whether you can use a single Senate Report as proof of Congressional intent.

Checklist for Consciously Managing a Workplace Problem

Life would be so easy if there weren’t other people …right? And, so boring too. One of the challenges we face is getting out of our heads when facing a “problem.” Here’s how to take a more conscious approach and eliminate the drama in the process.

  1. Recognize and admit that you have a responsibility toward the situation. As Dr. Phil reminds us, there are two sides to every relationship.
  2. Have you expressed your concern appropriately? Speak of how you feel and not about “what they’ve done.” Use “I” and not “you.” Your silence is not golden so don’t wallow in a Culture of Silence.
  3. Drop your desire to be “right.” As the great Sufi poet, Rumi stated, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” The Buddha said “Winning and losing are both the same thing: they are nothing.” If you want to know what a conscious approach is, simply ask yourself what Jesus, Buddha, or similar beings would say or do in the same situation.
  4. Do not identify yourself by your “problem.” That is giving your power away. Understand you are a much greater being than any circumstances you could face at work… or home.
  5. If, after you’ve made a conscious effort to resolve the problem, things don’t work out, prepare to move on. This does not mean that you hire a lawyer or start a fight. In my 17 years of litigation experience representing employees, few, if any, benefited from the litigation experience. Even after I put hundreds of thousands of dollars in their pockets. The only way we benefit from our negative experiences is when we learn our lessons and move on. Do not waste a moment of your energy looking backwards.
  6. If you are feeling stuck give yourself “outs”. Perhaps you prepare your resume and go on job interviews, but continue to do your best job possible. Sure you can gather evidence of their “unfair conduct” but what good will it do you? Better to find an environment where you are respected and feel good about the work you do every day.
  7. Recognize that conduct on the part of others that feels unfair to you is often due to their lack of consciousness. This is true whether it is your spouse, child, subordinate or supervisor. Recognize that no one engages in more unfair conduct towards you than you do to yourself. Focus on the internal and let go of the external. Do what is practical, not what is emotionally satisfying.
  8. Ask yourself these questions: Will this really matter in five years from now? How would my loved ones like to see me approach this challenge? (With a negative or positive attitude?) What example will I be setting for my family, friends and co-workers? Do I have the strength to rise above this nonsense? Can I separate myself from identifying my being with this problem?
  9. As Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now states: “Use your problems and suffering for enlightenment.” Do not give your pain and suffering any time in the past or future. If you are fully present with it, you’ll fully realize that you are just fine right now. Stay in the “now” and you will avoid your own ego-driven consciousness.
  10. Lastly, go have some fun. Exercise, sleep well, and eat right. Focus on what you are grateful for and let everything else go. Forgive, surrender, and love your enemy.

I can guarantee you that any approach other than the above will result in no good to you, your company, your loved ones, or anyone else. I say this without reservation and with good intention.

A Laundry List of Fun Ideas You Can Apply at Your Company

There are plenty of fun ways to make work enjoyable, reinforce your culture and increase retention, engagement, and productivity in the process. Here’s just a few. What fun things has your company done? Please do share!

  1. Bring your _______ to work day (dog, parent, kid, spouse, therapist).
  2. Celebrate change – bury the past in a ceremony.
  3. Assign vision, mission or value “keepers”.
  4. Be a customer for a day.
  5. Bring in a motivational speaker.
  6. Community service – your employees can help in schools, shelters, with the elderly, at rescue centers, support the PBS fund drive, non-profit, create a clothing drive, sponsor a community day, give them a day off for volunteer work.
  7. Customers – Any form of recognition, thank you notes, t-shirts, thank you calls, candy bars, referral bonuses.
  8. Line a wall with pictures drawn by employee’s children or grandchildren, inspirational quotes, personal vision and mission statements.
  9. Send thank you cards home…maybe even with a gift card.
  10. Feed them – potluck lunches, healthy salads, ice cream trucks, popcorn trucks, cookie-baking contest.
  11. Fun – Create a mascot, fun committee, red nose day, poem contest, company rock band, sports teams, pass the trophy, company song or dance, costume day, wig day, hat day, tie day, sweater day, scavenger hunt, fill in the blank joke contest, company crossword puzzle.
  12. Holiday parties – There’s a holiday every month that you can turn into some type of theme party. Let your fun committee put it together!
  13. Create one page “how I make a difference” form where employees show how their work makes a difference on a single sheet of paper. No rules how they do that.
  14. Create some team videos, attain a customer video testimonial.
  15. Miscellaneous – Create a wishes box, time capsule, business cards for everyone, a haiku contest.

Those are just a few of my ideas. What are yours?

Don’t File That Lawsuit!

In 1983, I began my employment law practice, motivated to represent poor victimized employees and help them overthrow their dastardly, villainous bosses. I went all in. Worked 70-hour weeks, out to be the hero. At first, I took on basic cases like sexual harassment and discrimination, and by the end of my career, I was handling more sophisticated dramas like whistle-blower and glass ceiling cases. By the time I turned 30, I was divorced (Daddy wasn’t home enough), and by the time I was 40, I was burnt out of litigation. And I quit.

Over the ensuing 20 years, I’ve had the opportunity to re-invent my career by being an entrepreneur, trainer, investigator and executive coach.

Given the experience set forth above, let me get to the title of this article. I now advise people who seek my advice that the preferred approach is to spend their time and energy focusing on finding the right place to work rather than spend another moment looking backward, trying to prove that you were “right” …about the wrong place to work. I have received far more gratifying thank-you notes from people who took the move-forward approach suggested.

Yes, you may have been violated. Wronged. Discriminated against. Bullied. Sabotaged. Did I miss anything? Because of that conduct, you now feel victimized, angry, resentful, revengeful, and determined to bring the dastardly villain(s) to justice!

But…not so fast. If you were my son, or sister, or father, or best-friend, here is the advice I ask you to consider:

1. Let go of the need to be “right.” You know the truth. Does it really matter if anyone else does? Instead, focus all your energy on moving forward and working in the right place, which may be for yourself.

2. If you are being accused of wrongdoing, and as a result, permanent damage can occur, you must defend yourself. Your reputation and livelihood. Even then, all-out war is a no-win scenario.

3. If it’s the other way around and you are accusing somebody of wrongdoing, do you turn the other cheek? Or do you forget those lessons and punish them or tarnish their reputation in return? The answer may be “yes” if it’s to prevent them from doing further damage. That does not mean you need to file a lawsuit. But it would be appropriate to “out” them.

There are rare circumstances where people have been seriously damaged, and it’s difficult to simply dust yourself off. You may need psychiatry sessions not paid for by your insurance. You may have a very niched job where it takes longer to be re-employed. If that’s the case, then work with an attorney to see if they can negotiate a severance, without you having to go through the litigation process. Often, a demand letter and meeting will suffice. Try to get a settlement that will help you move forward. Do not worry about getting a pound of flesh on top if it. And, think twice before you sue to get settlement leverage.

4. Unless you’ve been through the litigation process, you do not understand how crazy it gets. If you thought you were violated in the workplace, wait till those defense counsel get to you. You will not only be questioned by attorneys but perhaps their psychiatrist as well. And, you will wear out your friends and family listening to your story. They will tire of it far sooner than you.

On too many occasions, I have seen plaintiffs put their life on hold waiting for resolution from their lawsuit. They often lose years of career and personal growth in the process. Staying in your victim role is not in the least bit attractive or helpful.

Take into consideration how long these cases drag on for.  I often read appellate reports related to lawsuits filed more than five years ago. Do you want to find yourself dragged through the courts for the next five years? Do you like getting beat up by lawyers? Who ever benefits from that?

Another thing not publicized is that employees win, at the most, 60% of the cases that go to trial. There’s no publicity for the 40%+ of plaintiffs that lose at trial. This figure is consistent with EEOC claims filed, where half of them are dismissed as being without merit. Imagine spending all your time and energy wrapped up in a lawsuit for three years, only to lose in the end. You will be in worse position than the day you filed that lawsuit! In fact, the company (or their insurance company) may chase you down for their legal costs!

If by chance you get a big verdict, you can all but guarantee it will go on appeal for years. Either that or you must settle at a reduced amount. So, while the claimant may have received a $2.5 million jury verdict, an appeal was immediately filed which has been dragging itself through the courts for years, and now you find your attorney wanting to settle for $500,000. Since the case was tried, the attorney gets 40% of that for legal fees. Then there are appellate attorney costs, court costs, fees for experts, depositions and the inevitable IRS. In the end, the most you get to keep is about $200,000 …if you are lucky.

Then, like the vast majority of lottery winners, that money will gone within three years.

So was it worth it?

Trust me; this happens on a regular basis. There’s no press for it. Nobody is bragging about it.

Then there is the stark reality that most harassers and bigots and other people that cause these problems, are seldom punished. Not by the company or the media. There is little press for it. You are not in Hollywood or Silicon Valley and nobody cares about your story. Many of these people don’t even lose their jobs. Often, the company pays a small portion of any settlement you get because they have an insurance company to do that for them. So, while you feel you may be “teaching them a lesson,” it seldom turns out as hoped for.

I say let the bastards rot in their own miserable lives. In the end, they will pay the price. And it won’t be because you sued them.

5. Unless you like repeat scenarios, look for your responsibility in the situation. Were there early warning signs you ignored? Do you wish you had handled certain things differently? Can you see how you may have given people a wrong impression about you? What we can control is our own behavior. We must always examine if we were less than responsible to ourselves in the circumstances. So we don’t do it again.

Growth does not come from finger-pointing but rather awareness. If you have challenges “moving forward,” then hire a coach to support you. Somebody like me can get you back on track. Yes, coaches cost money but you are thinking about your long-term growth. I can tell you this: you’ll pay far less for your coach than for your failures.

That’s 30 plus years of employment law wisdom right there. If you like destructive dramas then, by all means… file that lawsuit!